Hello, my faithful,

As I start writing this week’s blog, I find it amusing. I mean, after all, this site isn’t live. Yet…… But, my dear reader, I knew the day would come when you would be itching to read anything I write. Or at least, in my fantasies.

I will be 50 in June. I remember growing up, and 30 sounded so incredibly old; I never wanted to reach that milestone. 10 years go by, and 40 separates the young and old. 50 means I get AARP sent to my home. Woohoo. But there is so much more to this.

I moved away from home 2 months after I graduated high school. I moved from Baltimore, MD, to Ft Leonard Wood, MO. This was in 1992. No internet, no social media. I lost touch with all but 1 of my friends throughout the ’90s. Sadly, that last friendship ended in 2008. Not with a bang but with the slow closing of a door. Although I went out of my way to nurture the company, sometimes things run out of our control.

When female friendships end like that, it causes pain like a romantic friendship. This was a friend I met on my first day of high school, and I always considered her my all-time best friend. I had even known her husband for longer, as I had known him since I was 6 from church. I have other friendships that lasted a few years and ended when the person no longer had a use for me, such as they were in a relationship or I was no longer worth the time to reach out to. Some of these I know will never be friends again, and others I call friendships on hold. Whenever my friends from various points in my life want to be my friend again, I welcome them with open arms.

Then there are the true friends. Not family friends, or even friends of my family. But true friends. They are mine; I met them, found things in common, and both sides worked on the friendship equally. I am very blessed to have 2 of these friends.

The friend I have had the longest is Kelly. I have known her since 7th grade. We went over 25 years without contact due to circumstances such as different high schools and different paths our lives had taken us. We still wouldn’t have been reconnected if it wasn’t for a chance encounter on a website about grave markers. Now, she and her husband and son are our closest friends. We don’t get to see each other often, as we live about 8 hours away, but we think of each other all the time and shoot over little hellos in various ways, such as sharing Facebook posts. These are the kinds of friendships that put your faith in humanity, and some people enter your life not with a bang but more like a scar. You remember them throughout the years, have nothing but fondness for them, and then one day, they reappear bright and bold, and you carry them eternally.

My closest local friend is Tara. What started out as my boss quickly became my most intimate friend after we had similar, life-altering tragedies less than 3 months apart. We were each someone the other could talk to, and that understood what the rest of the world was afraid to ask. We cried together, laughed together, and shared our hopes for the loved ones we lost so suddenly. We have had the unique ability to open up in ways that feel so safe together that I call us the Grief Gals. As my spouse is away 90% of the time with work, Tara gives the best hugs next to them. Maybe it is her always being a Mama Bear, maybe because of our connection, but her hugs make the jagged edges of my heart seem to go back together again.

One day, I may tell you about my family friends and my friends that are also family. If, dear reader, that would be something that would interest you.

Until next week!!!!