Well, hello my minions, those who are captivated and enthralled by every word that comes out of my mind and through my fingers onto your screen, how the hell are ya? Okay, excuse the hyperbole there but the last four weeks of blogging were gut wrenching to write and for many, was gut wrenching to read. But that is life. Things you are given and love and cannot imagine living without getting taken from you, some as expected but some that you never thought you would have to go without. So now, let us lighten this up again and tell you about something AMAZING that is happening in my life currently and I cannot wait to share with you. Whether I popped up on an ad or you have been following me, I have been looking forward to writing this blog since May 16, 2023. But first, some background.

I have been married for almost 4 years now and she has changed my world. I was working for an extremely mentally abusive boss who honestly, had left me feeling worthless and wishing for death daily. When I met my wife, we knew we were meant to be, and I moved in with her after only three months and moved away from this horrific situation (more on that in future blogs.) My next job was for a wonderful and completely self-made man whom I admire for many many reasons. Even after my wife’s job took us 250 miles away, I still worked a hybrid schedule and would drive down to the office every other week and sleep in a bedroom he had down in the basement of the office. However, after falling in love with the state of New Hampshire, when we bought a house, I couldn’t bear to leave it every other week, so I left his employ and was lucky enough to find a wonderful local job. My adopted hometown has a population of eight hundred, give or take a couple. In the town, there are three main employers, a book binding company, a dairy processor, and a slaughterhouse. I have worked in all aspects of Office Management, including payroll, HR, property management, A/P, A/R, just to name a few so I never worry about finding a job and I got lucky, and the slaughterhouse was hiring for the office. This is a USDA facility and has nothing but the strictest rules on humane handling of the animals, health of the animals, and traceability. This job is not for everyone, but we are a rag tag group of lovable weirdos. I have previously called them “My Tribe,” and they will all own that title. We are a big family, and that is due to the business being owned by a fabulous husband and wife team. The wife gave me a chance, a locally unproven person from a big city, to manage her books. I cannot imagine how stressful that must have been for her. Although I had the office skills, I did NOT have the meat skills, or any farming knowledge to talk to the farmers intelligently about their animals they were bringing in for processing. They would tell me the breed of cattle and I had no idea what that meant. Now I can at least fake my way through it surprisingly good, lol. But I digress. I had been working for this couple for a few months shy of two years. The pair have five children and each one is so phenomenal and their own person yet have so many core values of their parents and each have their own skills, talents, and personalities that make them all incredible people. The husband passed away unexpectedly from a chronic illness and his wife, a nurse by trade, couldn’t bear to keep the plant without her husband and best friend. After the loss of my niece less than three months after my boss’s loss, she and I became each other’s shoulder to cry on. We had so many heart to heart talks, talking about what was the same for us going through our grief, what was different, and we would be envious of some differences and grateful for others. And we shared this mutual intense grief until the plant sold on November 18, 2022. Then the new owner came in. With the new owner came a partner and a team of IT, accountants, experts, and a complete overnight change to philosophy. Our processing of animals is so well known, people drive hours to either have their animal processed by us or shop in a small store for the best quality products. That has not changed. What changed was we no longer feel the same feeling of family. What was once an always open office door is now closed at least half of the time due to Zoom Meetings. There is now such an unbreakable chain of command that when your issue is your superior, you are pretty much screwed. I knew the transition was going to be hard. I spoke to the plant owner and her cousin who was also the slaughterhouse’s accountant about how difficult it is at a job to change ownership. I have never had a job where I survived 6 months of ownership change, usually due to layoffs, but occasionally it is the drastic change of my job duties and responsibilities, among other aspects. And this was one of those cases. I decided to start looking to find another job. I have some unique skills, not in the Taken kind of way, but I worked for a staffing company that had employees in twelve different states, including both coasts. I set up tax accounts, resident agents, filed papers, and got all payroll and business papers and accounts set up as required by these states across the country from my office in Maryland. I now live in New Hampshire but so close to Vermont, I can see it out my backyard when the trees do not have leaves. So being able to oversee payroll for multiple states is a skill I have of particular value in this area. In addition, I have attended around seventy-five unemployment hearings fighting for the company. I applied in March for two different jobs that I knew my skills were the perfect unicorn to fill and did not get either. It was quite a blow. Then my wife gave me some words of wisdom, “Maybe you didn’t get those jobs because you weren’t meant to have them.” You see, my wife and I are believers in having the strength to allow what is meant to be to be. When we try to force our way into situations, it leads to misery. Both of us had first marriages that we should have never been in, but we panicked and forced our way into making it work. Since my divorce, my mantra has been “Give me the strength to allow what is meant to be to be.” So, I stayed a little longer at this job until I could see what it was that was meant to happen. After another very frustrating day at the office, I looked for a job on a popular job search website. I found an A/R, A/P job paying what I make with about a quarter of the responsibility. I wondered if I could be happy with that. My whole life I worked my tail off to get promotions and to prove my value. I also am a bit of a control freak. Excuse me while I wait for the laughter to end by those that know me and cannot believe I only wrote “a bit.” I decided to at least apply and see. I did and within 5 minutes received a call and had an interview scheduled for the following Friday. That was very invigorating. I was closing the jobsite window I was using when not a moment later, something else that infuriated me happened at the office, and no I can’t remember what exactly due to so damn many things that have happened, that I immediately went back to the website and found a completely different job, for a part time operations specialist who opens mail Monday through Friday from 9-12. I started wondering am I so stressed cause of this job, or am I so stressed because I am working full time with tons of overtime, and going to school, about to start grad school, working to get myself followers on my Facebook page, writing a weekly blog, and taking care of an old large house? Honestly, that was what made sense, so I decided to apply for the part time job also. Later that day, I scheduled an interview. This was the opportunity that I had hoped for. I had two job interviews. Chances were good I would get one at least, Even if I didn’t, there are at least part time jobs to be had. I went into my boss’s office armed with a list of my daily duties and items I do every day. It filled two sheets of paper. I told him I wanted a raise. He gave me one, but not enough. And then, he said the thing that made my decision permanent and never changing. “For me giving you this raise, you need to focus more. I know you go to school, and you write but I need your focus to be here when you are here.” Before he finished the sentence, I had already given my notice in my mind. Not only did I take that statement as a slap in the face, but it was also he who had pulled up a chair at my desk and asked me what I was going to school for and what was my plan for it just two days prior. It was as if he had purposely set me up to have this in his back pocket. One more note on this. I am about to lay some knowledge on you that a good half of you may know, but the rest will blow your mind. Let me start at the beginning. One reason I was so unhappy is they will pick my brain for HR issues, such as how to terminate employment properly, hiring practices, etc. They really do not know the basics of the laws at all!!!! Embarrassingly so for an owner of multiple companies. About an hour after our meeting, he sent me a text not to speak of my pay raise to anyone, that this is private. Okay, ready for the knowledge boys and girls? The ones that know this are now smiling. A boss cannot compel you in any way shape or form, either by threat of termination, by putting in an employee handbook, or even by nonchalant statement, to keep your pay private from your coworkers, This is considered Union Busting and is ILLEGAL!!!!!!! I cannot stress this enough. YOU CANNOT BE COMPELLED TO NOT SHARE YOUR PAY!!! For me, I never wanted to know everyone’s pay. I understand that employers want to get the best possible help as cheaply as possible. I always blamed myself for that. If I was not getting paid what I was worth, it was my fault for not being confident enough. And then I started being a payroll manager. Now I know why my thinking was so backwards. I have had a couple of jobs where I underbid myself because I needed the job and they still paid me what they felt I was worth, in one case giving me $3 more an hour. My view on the role of the person that hires is not to get talent as cheap as possible. It is to give talented people the sweet spot between what they deserve and what the company can afford to pay. As a payroll manager, I saw some very fair payment policies, and some very unfair and downright misogynistic policies. I have had owners that were former sales managers pay the sales team twice my salary plus commission who have never worked in anything close to sales while my skills, which took years to learn, have been unnoticed. If you do not want to share your salary, then don’t. There is nothing wrong with that. However, if you want to, you should do it. There is strength in numbers; to get change going, we need to organize. Not all jobs do this, and please do not take drastic measures, as many places want to make their employees happy because if you are happy, you have drive and loyalty. And for those bosses that do not get it, remember the words of the fabulous Lisa Simpson “They have the plant, but we have the power.” That evening I had my interview for the mail handling job, and it was more than I could have hoped for. I will be the sole person in an office getting the mail, sorting, and sending it off to where it belongs. As a writer, this is a dream job. I am taking a significant pay cut, and I am great with it. Through hard work, a bit of luck, and a willingness to sacrifice, I can now officially make the following statement: As of noon on June 1st, 2023, I will be semi-retired. Just 6 years ago, I cried myself asleep many nights thinking I would never be able to retire. I have two uncles still working complex physical jobs in their mid 70’s. But now, thanks to meeting the world’s most perfect match for me and feeling confident in both my abilities and where the next chapter of my life is going, I can finally take a breath and enjoy life. I had the interview for the job I am taking on May 16, 2023. After telling my wife, she told me, “Mark today’s date down; it is the day your life is gonna change in a big way.” She saw how the next 2 weeks were going to unfold. As the reality of my decision sets in, I am amazed at what this means for me and my life. I will get to spend my days reading and writing. I can work on puzzles in my home office while having a cocktail and just plot and let my mind wander into new thoughts for more writing. I cried A LOT before I met my wife. I often felt alone, depressed, anxious and in complete despair. I took a chance a wink on a dating app, and now I am about to embark on my next chapter that feels like a fantasy I never thought I would accomplish.

Thank everyone for helping to give me direction, supporting my writing by reading and subscribing to my page and website, and hopefully help me fulfill each new dream I dare to invest in.

Until Next Time, EGA

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